This is my story and the reason why I am telling this story. I want to empower women everywhere to take charge of their lives and not to be persuaded to let others tell you  any different.  My story is only one in a million stories where women are losing the battle with breast cancer because it was not detected early. Though many of these women are gone they are not forgotten.  I want to be in that circle of women. By telling this story I’m hoping it will help someone to not end up like me. I am a woman who always makes sure to take care of myself or at least I thought I was.  With seven children, it was not easy but I made sure to schedule appointments for my annual visits with my OB/GYN and all the necessary tests that I needed to keep me well.  On April 24, 2007, I remember as if it was yesterday, I had an appointment for all my annual tests including my mammogram if requested by my doctor.  During my exam, I mentioned that I had a small lump on the right side that I needed him to check to make sure there was nothing to be concerned about.  I was diligent in my self exam and this time I found something that concerned me. After the exam, he told me that the lump was too small to tell and that he did not find any reason to be alarmed.  He also told me that since I was 46 years old it could be thickness due to the beginnings of menopause.  Now, I was not too educated on menopause and the reason being was I thought I had plenty of time. Boy was I surprised, and I will tell you why later.  The exam went well and after it was over and all tests came back good, I just let the small lump go.  Months went by and I noticed that the lump was getting bigger. I decided I needed to go to a woman doctor and ask questions.  I felt that a woman doctor could be better able to relate. I made an appointment with a women doctor in my area, went to see her and right away she told me that I needed to have both a mammogram and sonogram. I made the appointment, had the mammogram and the sonogram, and after having so many pictures taken during the mammogram, I got this sinking feeling that all was not good.  You know when you can see on the nurse’s face that something she sees is not right?   Well, that is what happened to me. During the sonogram, I decided to ask the nurse if she could tell what was going on or if she could see something that I needed to be concerned about.  She kept looking at the sonogram and told me that she could not discuss it but that she would bring in the doctor to talk to me.  Well, this just made me nervous.  When the doctor came in, I immediately asked him what was going on.  He then told me that he could see a thickness in the right breast though he did not see any reason for concern.  He explained that he would send these tests to the surgeon for further examination. The surgeon would then consult with me. I remember asking the radiologist, jokingly, “Is it bad to where I have to think about making my will?,” and he just laughed and said, “No it was not bad.”  This did not make me feel any better and I went home just thinking every day what horrifying news would I receive from the surgeon. When I finally met with the surgeon she looked over the mammogram and the sonogram, she examined me and she too did not seem alarmed.  By this time, nine months had gone by and I had developed a lump on my left breast.  The surgeon told me that she did not see any cancer in the x-ray for either breast and that she was not really concerned with the left as much as she was with the right.  She asked that I come back in six weeks to do the test again.  I then told her that the lump in the right breast seem to had grown more since my visit with my OB/GYN and that I wanted to know if there was another test that I could take that would assure me that it was not cancer.  The surgeon told me that she was sure that the right breast was just fibrous tissue growth due to the beginnings of menopause.  This was the same thing that the radiologist told me. It seemed  as if the radiologist had wrote the surgeon a letter telling her what he thought and she just went with his opinion.  I remember leaving the surgeon’s office feeling like I was being fooled into believing that it was nothing and deep in my heart I felt that I had to do something. I just did not know what to do.  The surgeon suggested that I have a MRI; it would give more detail and ease my mind.  Now, at the time, my deductible was $2,200 dollars and I had to have some time to get the money together to get this test done.  After about two months, my precious God sent me an angel that was concerned for me and gave me the money to have the MRI done.  I even called my mother in law, who is a registered nurse. When I could not get answers and felt lost I would rely on her just to see what she could tell me to do to get the attention I needed for my concerns. She suggested the MRI.  I finally got the MRI and went back to the surgeon for the results. This visit was very different.  When the surgeon walked in she was not as delightful as she was the last time.  She did not show me the MRI but she did tell me that she needed to do a biopsy on the right side (on that day) and she would get the results in a week.  Every time I would question the MRI results she would tell me that she had to wait for test results of the biopsy.  I had the biopsy on the right side, which is something that I do not wish on my worst enemy.  I remember it hurt like a knife was cutting me even though they gave me shot to sedate the pain. I still could feel everything she was doing and then after it was over I would not stop bleeding.  I remember her wrapping me up like a mummy.  She tightly wrapped a bandage around my chest area to stop the bleeding, which I had to keep on for several hours. I went home and the waiting game began. It seemed like that one week went so slow and I could not help but think about what she was going to tell me.  Then the day of the appointment came. I walked into her office, she came in and all I could remember was her face and her holding my hand.  She looked at me and said “Ms. Martin your biopsy came back positive for breast cancer”.  Then my ears must have turned themselves off because I cannot remember what else she said after that. I just remember looking over to my husband with this desperation in my heart and eyes as if to say “Oh! Honey help me”.  I was numb but I remember the surgeon telling me that she had to biopsy the left side and took back into the office and did it.  Then I went home not knowing what I was going to tell my family or how I would tell my children.  Would my three-year-old daughter even understand?  What was my husband going to do without me?  I called my sisters to come to my house to help me tell my mom.  This was not going to be easy so my husband and I went and sat by ourselves so that we could wrap our brains around what was going to happen and what we were going to do.  I remember my husband telling me as we sat there, that God was going to help us through this and by faith we had to believe that God would not leave us.  This was comforting but in the back of my mind were questions.  “Why me, Why me, God?” “Haven’t I done well and all that you have wanted me to do?  Haven’t I gone to church and served you? Haven’t I done all that you have asked me to do?”  My mind was just going fifty miles an hour and all I could think of was what I was going to say when I faced my children and mother.  I went home and all my sisters, brother-in-law, nephews and nieces were there.  I remember telling my mom and that was hard because I saw the same desperation in her eyes that I had in mine when I looked at my husband.  We all cried, hugged, and did the best we could that day because I really was not all there. As the days passed, I started praying and searching for answers because the surgeon had received the test results for my left side which was positive for breast cancer too except a different breast cancer. I decided to get a second opinion and my search began to find another hospital to help me.  I then found The Cancer Centers of America in Oklahoma, called and made an appointment.  Going to the Cancer Center was the best decision that I could make because they educated me on my disease. When I got there they scheduled me with a day of tests and visits with every doctor who would be helping me. After they did the entire battery of tests, from CT scans to x-rays, the doctor came in to inform me that I was a stage four because the cancer had already affected the lymph nodes and was already in my bones.  The areas were my chest, back, hips and pelvic area.  The doctor told me what my cancer type was:  Breast Cancer and it was HER2 positive with receptor positive metastasis bi-lateral lobular breast cancer.  What a mouth full and what this meant was that my breast tumors were growing fast because of the estrogen in my body. The more estrogen my body produced the more the tumors would grow but also would branch out into other areas of the body, especially since my lymph nodes, which are glands that deposit into our body, were infected.  So there it was my diagnoses and I had to live with it.  I was told that I had to be given a medication called Lupron, which would send me into full-blown menopause and would stop my ovaries from producing estrogen.  They also told me that I would be given Herceptin and Zometa, Herceptin for the cancer in the breast and Zometa for the cancer in the bones. I was on my way on this journey that no women wants to go but has to in order survive.  I had to have a mediport put in my chest because chemo had to start and this was going to be a long process (too long to use my vein)s. After eight months of chemo, tests showed that my cancer had progressed and now the tests showed that my cancer had moved into my lungs, liver, kidneys and other areas that I cannot remember but it was there.  So, my doctor put me on this horrible medicine called Taxotere.  The nurses had to wear gloves when they hooked up the bag to my port.  This medicine began after I had surgery to remove two tumors in my neck that later turned out to be breast cancer, trying to make its way to my brain.  Because God is watching out for me, they caught them in time.  After fifteen weeks of Taxotere, my doctor suggested that I rest because blood test showed that my liver was getting weak from the medicine and he wanted me to get back to health and then try again.  These toxic medicines are trying to kill one thing, the cancer, but in the process it’s hurting other organs.  People do not lose the fight with cancer, their bodies do.  This medicine is tough for the person receiving it, you have to be tough. Some of us make it and some of us don’t.  Those who make it should tell others about the fight. We should educate others on what to do and where to go. We know our bodies better than anyone else. If you do not feel good about a diagnosis, get a second opinion. Find information from different doctors (not just one) and trust your heart.  My outcome is sad but I’m okay with it, I just want other women to know that they should fight for what they know is right about their own body and get your mammograms, and sonograms and an MRI.  Breast cancer is a BEAST but we are getting ahead of it with more research and technology and input from those who are living with it.  Live hard and fight for a cure for breast cancer, for the living and the departed.  I will because I have seven reasons to fight.